Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Sphere

The sphere haunts my dreams. Yet again. Just like it did last night. And the night before. In fact, all the nights I have ever remembered. No frills, no unnecessary distractions to detract from the dream. Just the sphere. Shining, huge, suspended in water.

It’s our way of life. A constant intangible existence consisting of several dreams connected to each other. Each one seems extremely real and yet, has that absurd element which is supposed to distinguish dreams from reality. Or so they say anyway. A few brief flashes of cognizance in this seemingly everlasting slumber hardly make me qualified enough to comment on reality.

We are told that the world outside has people who are actually free to do what they choose. Real people. People who talk, sing, laugh, scream, cry, love, hate. People who fight wars and make love. People who travel from place to place and others who stay put. People with absolutely no purpose for existence and those whose clarity of purpose is almost close to ours. But free people nevertheless.

Ah, what a wonderful life it is for them! Not trapped in this cocoon of stagnation. Not infused with knowledge at this rapid rate. And definitely not told time and again about the sphere.

Of course, we are told about them only occasionally. Most of the time it’s the sphere which occupies our thoughts. It’s rather strange, actually. The physical image of the sphere is seared into our heads, but we really know almost nothing about it. Just that one day, we all have to wake up and head towards it. The fate of the world supposedly depends upon us.

I have used the word ‘we’ because I’m quite certain that there are more like me in this existence. But of course, one could not be sure.

It turned out that a couple of days later, I was sure.

There was a sudden electrifying surge of energy, which jolted me right out of sleep. The vision of the sphere which should have logically started to fade way since I was awake, only multiplied in intensity. Flashes of light punctuated the uneasy silence.

I was in a huge cavern which seemed to stretch right out into infinity. I looked down and saw that I was clothed from top to bottom in black. I looked about and saw nearly hundreds like me. All seemed hypnotized. Some were moving about, a little restless. But most were still. Just like I was.

Waiting, waiting, waiting… The sphere. The sphere. The sphere. That was all that mattered. This was it. The D-Day, they had called it. This was the day that was ingrained in my head ever since I was subconscious. The procedures and rules started popping into my head like the missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

It was all very simple really. Swim out through the tunnels. Enter the sea. Locate the sphere. Attack it.

My entire life’s purpose was clear. There were no regrets about freedom and all that anymore. It was all for this day. This was what we had been trained for, while suspended for what seemed like eternity in that amniotic fluid.

More surges. More flashes. A small section started a deep booming chant, which sounded silly at first. Then suddenly I started doing it myself and it didn’t seem so silly anymore. It was our war cry. The louder we did it, the clearer the image of sphere became.

The temperature slowly started increasing. The walls of the cavern we were in started to glow with a dull dark red sheen. The thrill of expectation rose up in all of us. The war cry became even louder. Attack the sphere, attack the sphere it seemed to suggest.

Suddenly, without warning, there was a mild shock wave which travelled through the entire cavern. The chant faltered for a moment before redoubling in volume. Another shock wave. This one stronger than the first. And another, even stronger. Pulses of the wave seemed to hit our very cores. The chant was almost like a frenzy now.

And then there it was. We all knew it about it before, but I don’t think any of could have fathomed its power. A torrent of warm water hit us with tremendous force and before I knew it was rocketing along at a blistering pace towards the tunnel entrance. And I was still chanting, louder than ever. It was like an explosion of clarity. Extraneous details like us hurtling through the water like torpedoes, didn’t seem to matter.

The sphere. That was all that mattered. Swim out through the tunnels. Enter the sea. Locate the sphere. Attack it.

As expected our speed increased manifold as soon as we entered the tunnel. The electric current was surging through us stronger than ever. It was around this time that I realised that we weren’t exactly in warm water. It seemed to be a conductive fluid of some sort. More importantly I realised that there were only three in front of me. I was fourth in line to attack the sphere.

The current seemed to level out at peak intensity here. It was so powerful that it almost tore me apart. But thrill, pain and excitement didn’t matter anymore. Purpose. That was all that mattered. The sphere! The sphere! THE SPHERE!

And then it just stopped.

And along with it came something which I should’ve expected all along. But I didn’t. A sudden deceleration, which seemed to push or rather hammer me back with almost as much force that had set these events into motion. We were out of the tunnels.

The shimmering fluid we were cocooned in seemed to fade away, replaced slowly by the salty tang of sea water. No more electricity. No more shock waves. No more chanting. Just the serenity of the underwater sea.

But the sphere, no, it didn’t leave my mind. It was still branded into my head the same intensity. Or was it? It seemed to be slipping away. Other thoughts were entering.

Here was the sea! Here was freedom! No more dreams! No more impulses! Swim away, you idiot! Swim away!

I looked around and indeed several more seemed to have the same thoughts as me. They were drifting away from the pack. I looked ahead and saw the person in front of me trying to do the same.

And then something weird happened. He swam to the left and was suddenly struck by a bout of paralysis. The lower part of his body writhed and tried to propel him away, but soon enough it seemed to freeze. At that instant, he looked at me, his eyes turning from glimmering orbs to lifeless hollows. He then froze completely and sank down, fading away into the abyss.

One more look around, and a shocking sight awaited me. Hundreds of others were suffering the same fate. However, there was still a sizeable number that ploughed on relentlessly.

It was then that I realised. There is no life without the cocoon for us. In the sea, we were ironically like fishes out of water. There was no defence. No protection, whatsoever. I became conscious of the sea water slowly trying to erode away the black suit I was wearing.

I looked around yet again and saw more of them trying to swim away. Wayward fools! How could they not realise it? There lies freedom underwater, but it’s ephemeral at best. Death was a certainty. The calm blue underwater environment was a cold blooded killer.

Was there glory in such a death? Was there really glory in freedom? What was more glorious? A death while trying to run away, or death faced like a man in the pursuit of the sphere?

Purpose is everything. Purpose is all, they used to say. We were all lethal weapons, born and bred for one purpose only. Any doubts I had in my mind melted away, replaced by the image of the sphere, sharper and clearer than ever. Attack the sphere. Attack it with all you have.

The pain started to seep in slowly. I knew I wouldn’t survive for long. I summoned all the power I had and kept swimming ahead. I was soon ahead of the rest of the pack. It was at this time that I noticed the white light that we were all swimming towards. It was getting brighter and brighter.

It was the sphere.

The thrill of anticipation arose again. It was finally here. The culmination of all the dreams and almost every thought I had ever had throughout my life. The others behind me seemed to speed up, but I wasn’t bothered at all. I knew I would strike the first blow.

Death would be instantaneous. Death would be painless. I braced my self and adjusted my headpiece, ready to ram into the sphere.

5 seconds more. 4 seconds. 3, 2, 1…

My head hit the sphere with all the force I could muster. It ruptured almost too easily and to my surprise I was inside it. I could hear a sudden whirring noise as the sphere seemed to surround itself with an impregnable shell as if to prevent any further damage. Everything seemed to have slowed down to almost a standstill. I could hear my comrades outside hitting the sphere in vain. I could even hear the cracking of their skulls before they fell away. Lifeless. A painless instantaneous death. But a glorious one nevertheless.

But what of me? Was I dead? Was this how it felt? There was a smaller inner sphere which was coming closer every moment. My waning momentum dragged me gently towards it. I touched it and it seemed to kiss me. A glowing radiance, spread all through me.

This wasn’t death. A tingling spark was suffusing through all my veins. My body reached a heightened state and then it was no more. I couldn’t feel it at all. All the information which was fed into my head seemed to be pouring out and swirling around in the inner sphere.

This wasn’t death. It was life. Life in all its glory. My body was gone and yet I felt more alive than ever before. I felt proud that out of thousands, maybe even millions, I was chosen to be the one to experience this.

It was beauty. It was pain. It was anger. It was happiness. Every emotion of the kaleidoscope of life seemed to flash through my thoughts.

And then there was peace.

Nine months later, somewhere in the world, a baby took its first breath.


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?