Tuesday, December 07, 2004
My first post (butterflies in my stomach and rats in my head)
(Enter Pinky, a scrawny-looking subnormal white lab rat and Brain an exceptionally brilliant one, with an abnormally enlarged cranium. They are in a place with heaps of crates connected by elaborate strands of cobwebs, all illuminated by steadily shining bulbs. Faint whispers fill the air competing with the sudden grinding sounds emanating from stuck gears. The place has an aura of what IITians call ‘give-up’-ness)
BRAIN: (looking all around in wonder) Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: (inspecting the shallow recesses of a crate marked ‘Temporal memory’) Ummmm, I think so, Brain… but isn’t the title of this blog a little, well… cheesy?
BRAIN: Uh… well… maybe. Do not concern yourself with trivialities, my cerebrally-challenged friend. For today is a momentous day…
PINKY: (excitedly) Oh, I know, I know! Someone’s started a blaaaawwwg, someone’s started a blaaaawwwg…
BRAIN: (patiently) No, Pinky. (dramatically) Today, we have finally succeeded in infiltrating the human mind. Though there seems to be a lot of… trash in this one.
PINKY: (picking up a name-tag) It says here that the owner’s name is Aziz. Oooo, zingy…
BRAIN: (snatching the tag) That’s impossible! I have the name down as Ashish in my files. (observes the tag and also picks up another one which says ‘Engine’) Hmm, what do we have here? Multiple personality disorder? Schizophrenia? False identities? Mechanical personalization?
PINKY: Maybe he forgot his name.
BRAIN: Your flair for the obvious and the ridiculous never ceases to amaze me, Pinky. But do you realize what this means?
PINKY: Umm, we’ve walked into one of those buy-one-get-two-free deals which come on TV…
BRAIN: (voice rising as he holds up the name-tags) This, my friend, is our gateway to world domination!
PINKY: Name-tags? We left scores of them in the lab back there!
BRAIN: (ignoring Pinky) This man, clearly has at least two contrasting characters locked away in this place. Just think of what could happen, if we could set them against each other!
PINKY: (solemnly) There will be a Great War, the likes of which has never been seen before. The good shall triumph over evil and the world will once again (singing) be a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race…
BRAIN: (a little irritated) Keep up with that Michael Jackson drivel Pinky, and I shall perilously support you by the little appendage of your right hand from a really high window. (Pinky stops) Anyway, as I was saying… we could cause an internal conflict between Engine and Azizman and they would destroy each other along with the physical owner of this brain in the process.
PINKY: Oooo, nice plan, Brain. Narf!
BRAIN: Thank you, Pinky. And soon we shall perfect this process and ruin the important heads of state in this world. The catastrophic consequences would trigger a string of violence finishing off most, if not all, of the imbecilic human race…
PINKY: And the squeak shall inherit the earth! Bravo, Brain! (Pinky jumps around clapping his hands gleefully while Brain stares at him in disgust before resuming his observation of the surroundings)
BRAIN: (examining a set of pipelines) So what do we have here? Gas pipelines in the brain?
PINKY: (reading the notice board beside the pipes) It says here:
“Woe betide all thee who touch these pipes
For be they muggoo or give-up types
Know not the power of the cosmic explosion
That launches them into farting motion
Many a sem was ruined by it
As grades sunk into that bottomless pit
Hours and hours spent at the patisserie
When they should’ve been mugging Perry
Endless discussions of inane things
Of grub and Quake and past flings
Over glasses and glasses of sweet ice tea
(Oh, damn… give my ten bucks back, Vamsi)
So, naïve stranger, be gone from this place
Unless, of course, you’re another hopeless case
Would love to fart with you some time
Indulge yourself… This ain’t no crime”
Hey, Brain! Take a look at this…
BRAIN: This person has apparently elected to waste his time in er… what-do-you-call it… farting. No wonder the air around here is filled with murmurs of preposterous conspiracy theories.
PINKY: (pricking up his ears) You know? I can actually hear something now… Hey, did you know that Woodwards Gripe water is a decent substitute for the elixir of life? Zort!
BRAIN: (poring through a crate marked ‘Obsessions’) It seems that Azizman’s unhealthy fixation with Woodwards Gripe water seems to be catching on to you, Pinky.
(Pinky is about to perform his best imitation of the octogenarian grandmom, when Brain looks at him sternly) Let’s not go there, Pinky. I’m not sure I can stand a replay of that commercial again.
PINKY: Haha… Oops! Sorry Brain, kind of got carried away. (he stares at Brain noticing something new)
BRAIN: What happened?
PINKY: Brain, what’s with the new hairdo? How did you get actually grow some hair?
BRAIN: WHAT?!?!? NO! It’s not possible! (he rushes and looks at his reflection on a shiny untouched surface marked ‘PMT courses’) Oh, my God, I actually have weird hair like Engine’s…
PINKY: And I feel like playing multiplayer Quake even though I suck at it!
BRAIN: I desperately desire a packet of Classic Salted Lays at this present moment!
PINKY: Yeah, I want to crank up the music at full volume without giving a damn about my neighbours.
(Pinky and Brain look at each other incredulously)
BRAIN: (gasping with a great effort) Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain. But don’t you think that the Mozzarella was a little sour?
BRAIN: (gritting his teeth) No, Pinky. We’ve been transplanted with this subject’s personality. We are him and he is us…
PINKY: …and who cares what lies ahead of us…
BRAIN: …and the past is but a four-lettered word…
PINKY: …let’s go to Gurunath and have some curd!
BRAIN: You know… This ‘philosophy’ of life has made me ponder over my grandiose plans and the sheer futility of them all…
PINKY: I know,
“What is this life if, full of care…
BRAIN: …we have no time to stand and stare?”
PINKY: Righto. Oh hang on, Brain. What are we going to do tomorrow night?
BRAIN: Oh, that. The same thing we do every night, Pinky. (voice rising) Play Age Of Empires II on LAN! 11...
They’re Pinky, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain…
BRAIN: (looking all around in wonder) Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: (inspecting the shallow recesses of a crate marked ‘Temporal memory’) Ummmm, I think so, Brain… but isn’t the title of this blog a little, well… cheesy?
BRAIN: Uh… well… maybe. Do not concern yourself with trivialities, my cerebrally-challenged friend. For today is a momentous day…
PINKY: (excitedly) Oh, I know, I know! Someone’s started a blaaaawwwg, someone’s started a blaaaawwwg…
BRAIN: (patiently) No, Pinky. (dramatically) Today, we have finally succeeded in infiltrating the human mind. Though there seems to be a lot of… trash in this one.
PINKY: (picking up a name-tag) It says here that the owner’s name is Aziz. Oooo, zingy…
BRAIN: (snatching the tag) That’s impossible! I have the name down as Ashish in my files. (observes the tag and also picks up another one which says ‘Engine’) Hmm, what do we have here? Multiple personality disorder? Schizophrenia? False identities? Mechanical personalization?
PINKY: Maybe he forgot his name.
BRAIN: Your flair for the obvious and the ridiculous never ceases to amaze me, Pinky. But do you realize what this means?
PINKY: Umm, we’ve walked into one of those buy-one-get-two-free deals which come on TV…
BRAIN: (voice rising as he holds up the name-tags) This, my friend, is our gateway to world domination!
PINKY: Name-tags? We left scores of them in the lab back there!
BRAIN: (ignoring Pinky) This man, clearly has at least two contrasting characters locked away in this place. Just think of what could happen, if we could set them against each other!
PINKY: (solemnly) There will be a Great War, the likes of which has never been seen before. The good shall triumph over evil and the world will once again (singing) be a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race…
BRAIN: (a little irritated) Keep up with that Michael Jackson drivel Pinky, and I shall perilously support you by the little appendage of your right hand from a really high window. (Pinky stops) Anyway, as I was saying… we could cause an internal conflict between Engine and Azizman and they would destroy each other along with the physical owner of this brain in the process.
PINKY: Oooo, nice plan, Brain. Narf!
BRAIN: Thank you, Pinky. And soon we shall perfect this process and ruin the important heads of state in this world. The catastrophic consequences would trigger a string of violence finishing off most, if not all, of the imbecilic human race…
PINKY: And the squeak shall inherit the earth! Bravo, Brain! (Pinky jumps around clapping his hands gleefully while Brain stares at him in disgust before resuming his observation of the surroundings)
BRAIN: (examining a set of pipelines) So what do we have here? Gas pipelines in the brain?
PINKY: (reading the notice board beside the pipes) It says here:
“Woe betide all thee who touch these pipes
For be they muggoo or give-up types
Know not the power of the cosmic explosion
That launches them into farting motion
Many a sem was ruined by it
As grades sunk into that bottomless pit
Hours and hours spent at the patisserie
When they should’ve been mugging Perry
Endless discussions of inane things
Of grub and Quake and past flings
Over glasses and glasses of sweet ice tea
(Oh, damn… give my ten bucks back, Vamsi)
So, naïve stranger, be gone from this place
Unless, of course, you’re another hopeless case
Would love to fart with you some time
Indulge yourself… This ain’t no crime”
Hey, Brain! Take a look at this…
BRAIN: This person has apparently elected to waste his time in er… what-do-you-call it… farting. No wonder the air around here is filled with murmurs of preposterous conspiracy theories.
PINKY: (pricking up his ears) You know? I can actually hear something now… Hey, did you know that Woodwards Gripe water is a decent substitute for the elixir of life? Zort!
BRAIN: (poring through a crate marked ‘Obsessions’) It seems that Azizman’s unhealthy fixation with Woodwards Gripe water seems to be catching on to you, Pinky.
(Pinky is about to perform his best imitation of the octogenarian grandmom, when Brain looks at him sternly) Let’s not go there, Pinky. I’m not sure I can stand a replay of that commercial again.
PINKY: Haha… Oops! Sorry Brain, kind of got carried away. (he stares at Brain noticing something new)
BRAIN: What happened?
PINKY: Brain, what’s with the new hairdo? How did you get actually grow some hair?
BRAIN: WHAT?!?!? NO! It’s not possible! (he rushes and looks at his reflection on a shiny untouched surface marked ‘PMT courses’) Oh, my God, I actually have weird hair like Engine’s…
PINKY: And I feel like playing multiplayer Quake even though I suck at it!
BRAIN: I desperately desire a packet of Classic Salted Lays at this present moment!
PINKY: Yeah, I want to crank up the music at full volume without giving a damn about my neighbours.
(Pinky and Brain look at each other incredulously)
BRAIN: (gasping with a great effort) Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain. But don’t you think that the Mozzarella was a little sour?
BRAIN: (gritting his teeth) No, Pinky. We’ve been transplanted with this subject’s personality. We are him and he is us…
PINKY: …and who cares what lies ahead of us…
BRAIN: …and the past is but a four-lettered word…
PINKY: …let’s go to Gurunath and have some curd!
BRAIN: You know… This ‘philosophy’ of life has made me ponder over my grandiose plans and the sheer futility of them all…
PINKY: I know,
“What is this life if, full of care…
BRAIN: …we have no time to stand and stare?”
PINKY: Righto. Oh hang on, Brain. What are we going to do tomorrow night?
BRAIN: Oh, that. The same thing we do every night, Pinky. (voice rising) Play Age Of Empires II on LAN! 11...
They’re Pinky, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain…
# posted by Ashish : 6:34 pm
Comments:
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The so called epic lies unfinished on my hard drive and will probably never be finished. Non-Mandak junta will have a tough time understanding it...
Oh, and thanks for being the first to comment on my blog. I'll check out yours...
Oh, and thanks for being the first to comment on my blog. I'll check out yours...
Ah Davies...don't we all love him...
Ok...return favour as you call it...although is it considered a favour if I end up enjoying doing it??
Fellow carootn-network-lover...lovely post!
Ok...return favour as you call it...although is it considered a favour if I end up enjoying doing it??
Fellow carootn-network-lover...lovely post!
u must have ben really jobless.anyway good one.
-maruti[had to do this cause i dont have an account]
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-maruti[had to do this cause i dont have an account]
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