Mozzarella

The mouse pointer moves to click on the desktop shortcut for Microsoft Word. I set the font to Century Schoolbook, size 14, centralize and bolden it for a heading. Nothing comes to my mind and I end up typing “Questions”. Go to the next line, ‘justify’ the alignment, reduce font size and start…

There is an old vague sense of familiarity as I sit before my computer and yet again stare hard at a Word document not knowing what to type, what to say… all I know is that I wanted to put up something. Why? No clue. What do I want to say? Can’t be sure.

It’s been nearly a year since I stopped blogging, though it never really felt like one. In that period, I haven’t written anything apart from lab reports, assignments and exams. And Orkut scraps and mail.

I remember the month when I didn’t touch my guitar as I had left it behind at my hostel. When I came back, I was a little uncomfortable with it, but proceeded to do the usual runs over the only 3 scales I knew. A warm-up, if you will. Soon enough it felt like I had never stopped playing at all.

I wonder if there is a similar warm-up exercise in this case. I wonder if I am not doing something akin to that right now.

Is it all over? Have I told the world all that I had to say or is there more in the future? Wasn’t I always blogging for the sake of it? And won’t I do it again? Worse still – am I putting up all this enigmatic mumbo-jumbo to sound interesting?

In a world of sharp opinions and ideas, is there really no space for someone who doesn’t have one? Sometimes, I wish I could just sit back, relax and simply say, “I don’t know...” More often, I wish I could find the words that could actually express what’s going on in my head.

Unanswered questions flying free
Without remorse, they lodge themselves in me
Uncooked pieces of cheese and words float in green jelly
Poet or lyricist I shall probably never be

In many ways, this is probably the most pointless post to have ever appeared on this blog (and probably the shortest). But in some ways, it strikes deeper down than any other. For me atleast.